Born out of necessity, friendships are an inherent part of our daily lives. The quality and scope of such is always different.
Here good and bad friendships will be showcased so you can better understand the dynamics for your own needs.
What creates a friendship?
Naturally it comes from common goals and interests. This allows for discussion of said things and a reason of hanging out to shared experiences.
What grows a friendship?
Hardship is the biggest factor for growth, as it weeds out friendships that don’t work, and nurtures those that do.
What friendship can be considered negative?
One that forces you to behave in certain ways and puts expectations on your behaviour, rather than allowing you to just be yourself. When someone keeps insisting you to adjust your behaviour, when someone often would create problems rather than solve them, then that friendship can be considered negative.
But can’t I just adjust my behaviour and be their ideal friend?
Totally, and it will all be fine until you step on the next eggshell, and the next, and the next. And the more eggshells you step on, the more restrictions on your behaviour will squeeze around you, until you’d end up not even wanting to interact with that said person.
So I can’t do anything?
Of course you can, but it’s meant to be a team effort, rather than a one-sided activity. Instead of making the problem bigger, agreement must come to find middle ground and find a solution to the problem, in a way where it considers both sides.
When do I know if my friend is a real one? (positive friendship)
When you both go through struggles, made by the environment or each other, and the friendship survives. It doesn’t matter who was right or wrong, all it matters is that your friend stays by your side and tries to make it work, and vice versa. Then that’s all you need to know, to finally know.
After all, if someone values you, even when you’re at your worst or you’re just an annoying brat, you will never be abandoned. If someone doesn’t value you, you’ll be thrown away at the first inconvenience that comes around the corner. And when that does happen in either case, rejoice.
Often the case will be that you’ll be thrown aside like a snotty tissue, or just forgotten with time. But every once in a while you’ll get your chance by either creating it yourself, or having someone create it for you. So don’t shy away, and don’t waste your efforts by being anything but yourself.
Walk away from those who don’t care, and stick to those who do 🙂
